Looking for gay friends
Going to a bar during trivia night might be a good way to start. You can be adopted by a group who needs an extra player.
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Karaoke night might be good too. Joining a gay sports league or choir might be worth considering. Some establishments might be willing to host. You could also try taking a class. Basically get out there and try something and keep at it. Excellent points. Ahhh the age old question. This is a real and difficult thing. Same issue that many straight men and women have as well. Most of my other close acquaintances are women and straight men. There are social meet up groups though for those who are looking for friends or acquaintances so he should probably try that. I agree with him in avoiding the apps.
I met some of my acquaintances by going on a ski trip. I understand where he is coming from, I certainly experience the same things.
Not an easy prospect. It reminds me of being back in high school where you had to eat lunch by yourself. Gay men at all ages seem to be obsessed with looks and sex and do not seem to understand the concept of friendship.
When You Have No Gay Friends
Not all of my current friends approve of this plan! How many guys in their 60s have the exact same attitude? A lot of them! Im 66,and you could be writing about me….
Gay Men: 7 Places to Find Your Next Boyfriend That Are Not in a Bar | PairedLife
Regarding your comment about bartenders, I find that is not the case at all at the bars I go to. As someone in my 50s, I am much more comfortable going to the bar alone now than I was in my 30s. I know several of the performers and enjoy a good drag show, so I have two choices: Go alone or sit at home alone. Once I got comfortable with my own company, I made several friends, who, in turn, introduce me to their friends.
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My circle of gay friends include guys as young as 24 and as well as men my age or older. You got to put yourself out there.
How to Meet and Make Gay Friends
When we build a culture based upon pervasive and long-term promiscuity, this is where we end up. Healthy relationships of all kinds are starved and made rare. Your best bet is to go to avoid the remaining strongholds of that old dying culture and seek out venues, events and people untainted by its stain. I like a lot of the suggestions here. Not everything works right away, in terms of making friends, but the activity itself is still fine.
Sometimes a little intense for an introvert like me, but I had to remind myself: One quibble. Become an alcoholic and reelaaax! Going to a bar one day a week hardly makes someone an alcoholic! And yeah, a few of my long-time friends are guys who were ONE time hookups… but we got to talking. Nothing wrong with that.
The Queerty comment about becoming an alcoholic bugged me, too. Good question. My suggestion is to say no if a sexual move is made by the other one, and if the friendship is there, it will survive the sexual rejection.
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You both have to be sexually repulsed by the other. Sex will never intrude upon the friendship. There are many excellent suggestions here. Many social groups are full of men who came to them simply to make some friends. BTW, it takes no time at all to make acquaintances, but it takes a good deal of time, and work, to develop a friendship. Yet, when I try to arrange platonic buddy activities, I get really pushy sex offers. I, too, have always had a fear of meeting gay men. Put me in a room full of women and I'll charm their pants off not literally, but you get the point.
Surprisingly, I can even hang deep with the straight dudes. We can box, lift weights, get greasy working on cars, watch a college ball game. All I need is some wings and a beer and I'm in frat heaven. Now, place me in a room full of gays and I lock up like a transmission without fluid. I've thought about this extensively. What is it with me and the gay dudes? Then it hit me like a home run: My girls don't judge me, they encourage me well, except for that one hater. My straight guys are easy to get along with because all they talk about are girls which I know about since that's who I hang with and dumb straight boy stuff which I find mildly entertaining.
But, the gays are the gays. A room full of 'mos is like a tank full of potential dates, husbands, and friends. Set aside the fact that, despite our sexuality, we're all men and men like to mark their territory be that another man or just the room in general , so there is a lot of funky energy going on. Enter a gay social event and some are cruising, some boozin', others schmoozing.
It's like a free for all. I lock up because I like to know what to expect. And, in a room full of gays it's difficult to know what's going to happen or not happen. Inevitably, I clam and revert to my introverted half. Fret not, we are not lost causes here.