Whats gay sex like

Or maybe you just don't feel like dealing with condoms, lube, and enemas. That's totally fine, because extended foreplay, oral sex, rimming, and mutual masturbation are all excellent alternatives. They're less complicated, more spontaneous, and can be just as pleasurable.

Sure, a big penis might be nice to stroke or gaze at longingly. But if the penis is too large, it's not fitting in the back door. Ain't nobody got time for that. It takes too much time to work up to it and stretch things out. Although, poppers -- a substance some gay men take to relax muscles to make anal sex easier -- can help with that issue. An actual sentence someone said to me after I came out was this little gem: Years after the AIDS epidemic, there's still a pervasive misconception that gay sex is dirty and undoubtedly leads to STDs, which simply isn't true.

Today, we even have PrEP: Oh, and it ought to go without saying, but if you're HIV-positive, this doesn't make you dirty or unbeautiful. You can still have sex: We want to know if our partners are tops, bottoms, power bottoms, or versatile. These aren't just arbitrary labels. They help us figure out who's comfortable doing what -- and that, my friend, is sex-positive.


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Helping your partner get the most pleasure out of sex is something we should all strive for, and when both are capable of penetration, it's even more necessary. I know you're wondering, so: A power bottom is a man who both receives the penetration and dominates during sex, taking control of things like speed, depth, and position.

Struggles You Only Discover In Your First Same-Sex Relationship

This is no place for heteronormativity, people. A gay man is still a man regardless of whether he prefers to top or bottom.

This can help if:

Restrictive gender roles have no place in any relationship, and certainly not a gay one. If both men identify as men, then they're men. It's incredibly romantic being with someone of the same sex, someone who so closely understands your body.

Mythbusting: What Gay Men Really Do In Bed

One playing "the guy" and the other "the girl" is irrelevant. Or, " P-spot. We're not just sticking it in to stick it in OK, sometimes we are -- there's a goal involved. Maximum pleasure comes from stimulating the prostate, which can be intensely satisfying and lead to a more fulfilling orgasm. Straight men and their fragile buttholes seriously don't know what they're missing, unless they've let their girlfriends strap on a dildo and peg them , in which case, I applaud their efforts.

Tom Vellner is an associate staff writer at Thrillist who hopes his mom didn't get this far in the article. Follow him on Twitter tomgvellner. Share on Facebook Tweet this article Pin it Email. Yes, we can perform missionary And standing. Want More? Read my guide on bottoming health and safety tips here. If you want to research different methods of cleaning men who have sex with men do, go for it. Many guys douche before sex, but douching is not a requirement to have a good experience. You can use water to clean your butt specifically, the lower part of your rectum, the space just inside your hole with a drugstore enema or handheld bulb.

If you buy a drugstore enema, many of them are filled with laxatives, which you should empty out and replace with water before you use them.

Gay Sex: Is This Your First Time?

Going too fast or too rough can be painful I recommend a thick, silicone-based lube for the insertion tip. Also, make sure you try to release all the water into the toilet — leftover water stuck in your butt can cause discomfort later on. When your butt is filled with water, wait a few seconds, then release it into the toilet. Repeat as necessary until the water is clear. Be gentle, and go slow!

A word of warning from Alex Cheves.

Again, not every guy douches before sex. A healthy, fiber-rich diet lots of veggies, less meat eliminates the need to douche for some. Whether or not it ruins the sex mood is up to you. Douching should be minimal. A fiber-rich diet, or a daily fiber supplement like Metamucil, will minimize how much time you spend in the shower or on a toilet. All sexually active people do.

Having any sex puts you at risk for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and other sexually transmitted infections, or STIs. Thankfully there are many ways you can protect yourself. The only drug approved for PrEP is Truvada, but more are on the way. PrEP requires good health insurance and an understanding doctor who is aware of your health needs. Even after you go to college or move away from your parents, you may still be on their insurance, which means that they still see bills from the insurance company.

Before seeing a doctor, always check and sign your patient confidentiality form. Other, less severe STIs, like oral and genital herpes and HPV, are so common that most sexually active people are at high risk of catching them. In most cases, their symptoms are mild or nonexistent.

The best thing you can do to protect yourself is have a doctor who you trust, who performs regular checkups. If you have any symptoms, or experience anything on your body that may or may not be related to an STI, always tell your doctor about them. For people with no sexual history, Gardasil vaccinates you against strains of HPV most commonly associated with certain types of cancer.

For those with sexual history, the Gardasil vaccine is still recommended, since it may still be able to fight future strains of cancer-related HPV. Most sexually active adults get an STI at some point. You probably will. The wonderful benefits of sex far outweigh the risk of STIs. A common STI like chlamydia might require you to stop having sex for a week or two while the medicine clears it up. But a lifetime without sex means a lifetime without the awesome, beautiful, wonderful, sexy people you get to share your world and your bed with — people who will make you feel strong and beautiful and powerful.

I promise. In most of my early years, I felt frustrated, inhibited, and unsure of what I was doing. Sometimes I still do. They taught you how to get better. All Rights Reserved. Considering popping the cherry? Read this first. A word of warning from Alex Cheves. First things first: Make sure you can easily and safely access medical treatment. Men who have sex with men are not automatically gay.