Why does my gay son not connect with me
I can't see any option but to just suffer in silence and get over it. I will most likely remain miserable but I don't think I will be happy if I come out either.
When a Loved One Says, ‘I’m Gay’: The Stages of Grief
It will cause waves everywhere and I worry I will lose everyone important in my life. I don't see a solution at all. Hey Steven, Welcome back. Thanks heaps for sharing your burden with us, as I think you and I have chatted about in the past it really helps to talk about how your feeling. Coming to terms with something that is difficult within ourselves can be made even more difficult by projecting what might happen in the future.
Obviously there are considerations that need to be made about the impact on others, but lots of things can simply be put down the list a fair way to deal with at a later date. I like how succinct you were in explaining your attraction, when it started and your fears about impact on family. That's certainly a massive step and probably one that had you shaking in your boots for a while before and as you wrote your feelings.
Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Where to from here is naturally a very personal thing but the universal part is that a shout out from the roof tops isn't the way to go. Quite the opposite. Small steps within yourself, some understanding, some strength and of course help from us here. No rules say that you have to live your life out in misery, no rules say that to explore who you are safely within yourself that you will leave a trail of devastation either.
Please be aware that I really mean within yourself and not externally explore, for example an encounter. This of course is up to you, however let's chat about you first and run through a few things before even thinking about external things, coming out, ripples, impacts and all of the things that frighten the hell out of us. Can you tell me more about being depressed? Steven, this might be an ongoing chat we have and it might go on for a bit but I'm certainly happy to chat with you about what's happening and talk about how you're feeling. It's safe and anonymous here and those of us who have a rainbow bus next to our name on the left are members of the GLBTIQ community and really do understand how tough things are.
Hello Paul that sounds like a good plan. Thanks for your support. By the way I love the picture of the cat. My depression started around when my first son was born.
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I have found it very difficult adapting to having children. I am constantly tired, irritable, lethargic and have lost interest in most things. I think about death and dying a lot and feel like I have nothing to look forward to. As I have mentioned in other threads my life has become dull, boring and monotonous.
I am going through the motions and am existing rather than living. My relationship with my wife is not what it used to be. We are like friends rather than lovers. We don't talk like we used to. Our sex life is limited.
My sexuality probably has a lot to do with that. Strangely enough my wife knows that I am attracted to men but doesn't take it seriously.
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She thinks it's just a weird kinky thing. I told her years ago when I found her reading an old diary of mine. I was furious she invaded my privacy and ended up telling her because she wanted to know what was in there. It's complicated Paul!
A Christian Perspective on Parenting a Gay Child | The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender
Hope I am making sense and not rambling on.. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 22 Yes, that's my cat Maggie - she thinks she is a meerkat and stands like that on the doors on my balcony. She's the source of many giggles. Just so I can make sure I understand - Your depression started when your first son was born, the depression feels like constant tiredness, lethargy, thoughts of death and dying, just existing, nothing is exciting anymore, it's dull, boring and monotonous.
That's a whole lot of crap to carry around - most of us here on the beyond blue forums understand what it's like. Its difficult and it feels like there is no solution. Luckily there are solutions and as we chatted about before - we'll find them. I usually talk about a multiple angle approach to dealing with depression and I think that's what we should look at. You mentioned thoughts of death and dying - they can be frightening. I know when I have had them I am left wondering where the hell they came from. My little sister actually kicked my arse and said I needed to do something or she would fly to where I am and drag me.
I think a better way of explaining that - which is one the many approaches for treating depression is to visit your GP or find a GP you haven't been to if you are concerned that they are the family GP and have a chat. You don't need to explain your sexuality to them simply tell them how you are feeling. That's one of the multiple approaches where most of us go to start getting well.
I really do urge you to consider a GP visit very soon. Thoughts of death and dying that accompany the other feelings you describe are never pleasant and I think you'll find some initial relief with a Dr.
The next approach which I think we should step through a bit slower is talking about the change in how you felt when your son was born. In talking about this you might feel some guilt or discomfort but please know from when we chatted a few months ago, I know you're a great dad, so nothing about that is in question. Nothing at all!
It's all about how you're feeling.
How to react to your child coming out as gay
Let's make a pact. I won't judge anything you say but you're not allowed to either. There is a Beyond Blue help line that is available 24 hours a day. You are welcome and encouraged to use it if you need to and if you have thoughts of death or dying or anything like suicide, you must call the folks on that number, they WILL help. I'm not sure how this thread ended up in this section. I suppose because I mentioned death. I still think it should be where it was initially but never mind.
I do have a gp and am on an antidepressant but I don't think it is doing very much. I'm thinking of coming off it. Might try and find a new doctor as my current one keeps brushing me off.