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Let's make it easier. Take your checklist and burn it Trust me, you won't forget what's on the list. After all you've been carrying it with you right in your wallet, next to your gay card so you'd have it at the ready when needed. Take a sheet of paper, make four columns This needs to be hand written for maximum benefit.
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In the first column write, What, in the second column write, Why, in the third column write How, and in the fourth column write Who. Using as few words as possible, write "What" you want in your Mr. One item at a time. Then move to the "How" column and write how it will make you feel to have a Mr.
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Right with those qualities. Finally, in the "Who" column, write who you will be as a gay man in your relationship, when your what, why, and how have been achieved. Your who can be, "I will be a man who appreciates my guy for Stop gay dating to gay mate. The moment you embark on your gay dating expedition for the evening like a schoolboy in heat, you've potentially set yourself up for a dating disaster. Rushing forward, good intentions and all, if your energy reeks of, "Propose to me; propose to me now damn it," you'll have wasted a good time with a good guy who may not be ready to make that commitment.
Slow it down, be in the moment, and if you can't, then ask yourself a snitty little question: Breathe, focus, and take in what's happening in the moment. If you don't, you might end up with someone you thought was Mr. Right, only to find out he's Mr. Fright after you've already monogrammed both your initials on the towels. No more excuses. It's time to man up and start dating without excuse making. When a date goes south, make no excuses for him or you.
In fact, even if he was so boring the waiter fell asleep taking his order, he's just not for you. No need to justify anything any further. Once the excuse-making train leaves the station, we find ourselves either a so worked up we can't think about gay dating ever again, b blindly justify why we're going to go on another date with Mr. Boring, c consider turning in our gay card and starting to date women—gasp! Accept that things didn't work, it wasn't a match, and don't become desperate to stay in a bad relationship just for the sake of having one.
Yes, it's a man-eat-man world in the gay dating scene. Guess what? It's the same way in the heterosexual dating scene too.
The only difference is that straight women are still trying to figure out what to do with men, too. So best advice for gay men looking to dating to mate: Rick Clemons is a life changer, motivator, guide, mentor, and inspiring life coach for gay men who are ready to be the man they want to be, not the man they think they're supposed to be. He's on a mission; guiding gay men to find their own voice, love deeply, work passionately, and live powerfully without regrets.
Hook-up with Rick here. More Stories On YourTango: It's Not NPH. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.
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World News. Social Justice. Donald Trump. Queer Voices. Black Voices. Latino Voices. Asian Voices. For example, "Gay dating is such a chore. Gay dating is a chore that eventually leads to feeling depressed and lonely So change the tape! Be a fearless, foolish and fun-loving.
Crazy as it sounds, one of these three "f-words" could lead you to Mr.
First, be fearless in your gay dating pursuits. After all, if he thinks you're afraid, you probably are, and your sweaty armpit stains will rat you out! If you can't win them by being fearless, then be a little foolish, and let your heart lead you. Even if you feel like a fool, you'll rack up the frequent heartbreak points that will eventually pay for an all-expenses-paid trip to true love.
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Finally, let the fun-loving gay dater in you out to play. What's the worst that can happen? Stop comparing. Check out the merchandise, evaluate the functionality, weigh the benefits, but for crying out loud, stop comparing yourself to everyone around you! The more you look to others to validate your existence, your value and your self-worth, the deeper the hole gets for you to lay in and have sand kicked in your face. Just because "Bryce" dates like a mad man doesn't mean he's more datable than you. Find your stride, your way, your place and snuggle in.
That cozy warm space of dating your way will find you. You've heard it before: Trust is the basis of everything. But honey, practice makes perfect, and it starts with you. As gay men, one of the hardest obstacles we face is trusting that we're okay because we're gay. The more you dial in, trust yourself and stop second-guessing, the more you'll rely on your own instincts and create the dating situations that are right for you.
But baby, you gotta trust yourself because their ain't no one else that's gonna do it for ya. Whether it's a first date, casual dating or dating to mate , gay guys face the same challenges as everyone else. The only difference is they do it with class, sass and still get a piece of ass when it's done right! Rick also hosted his own radio show, The Coming Out Lounge.
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