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Our mature dating events are also the busiest in the UK, giving singles over 40 the opportunity to find friends, explore potential romances or how to find your soulmate. I didn't remember a single thing we talked about, other than the act of speed dating itself. What followed next was a dizzying cavalcade of dames—Eleanor, a personality-deficient nurse from the Philippines; Jenny, who was from Columbus, Ohio it showed ; Jessica, who worked in "disruptive technology. She was decent-looking enough, but insufferable. I had no desire to make her paradigm shift. Jessica II I'm already running out of fake names was a dietitian who had filed two of her teeth to a point, making them resemble vampire fangs.
Rebecca was a satellite engineer who had written a screenplay about dating.
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Mindy was a banker who, in her spare time, wrote "dark-ass poetry. Jessica III was a social worker who, when I informed her that I was a writer, assumed I was going to write something snarky about our evening sorry, babe. If she could have any career in an alternate universe, she told me, it would be a rabbi or a scientist. I said I'd still be a writer, but a more successful one. And so on and so on. Two hours later, we were done. My mouth hurt.
My head hurt. And yet, everyone around me was still eager to socialize. Obsessed with finding something and somewhere to eat, they could not stop talking about it.
They could not stop talking, period. I was out of my element; having spent most of the day beforehand in complete, vacuous silence, my mouth was not used to being used this much. I left while they were still debating where to eat, no closer to love or cunnilingus than when I'd arrived.
I had, however, learned a valuable lesson: The one thing that unites us all as a people—gay, straight, trans, and beyond—is the inanity of the conversations we have with potential sexual partners. I did not care what these women did for a living. Yet I asked the question to all 20 of them. I am too much of a misanthrope to date a financial manager; the idea of having to listen to her work anecdotes makes me want to put a gun in my mouth. I am too uptight, too difficult, too judgmental—these are the main criticisms lobbed at me by my "haters.
There is nothing inherently wrong with being a financial manager. There is, however, something wrong with needlessly judging one. The group around me didn't find any fault in one another.
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Hell, they continued talking long after their obligation to talk had expired.