Gay asian dating san francisco
But there was still so much no one had ever taught me. I practiced it as he watched and corrected me. Roses re-emerging all through the garden.
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I think it's cursed there, that rose. There's no record anywhere of what I can now see the dream was about: I knew what rice queens were, and they didn't usually go for me. When I worked at A Different Light bookstore in the Castro in s-era San Francisco, I remember selling them copies of OG magazine—short for "Oriental Guy"—these men fantasizing about the sex trips they took to Asian countries like the Philippines, Vietnam, Thailand, all of them in search of smooth young Asian men living in precarious economic conditions who were willing to do things sexually for, well, probably less than the cost of the magazine, in order to survive.
I had also been to the gay bars in San Francisco for Asian men, to discover they were for Asian men looking for white men and vice versa. As someone who was half, I was just exactly not enough of what each type wanted—exactly enough to be invisible to them or at least not eligible as desirable.
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They still walk by me sometimes, these mixed Asian and white gay couples, and I smile as both men seem to project their insecurities on to me, holding hands a little tighter as they walk by. As a result, I gave up on the idea that I would ever end up dating either kind of man—the gay white man who liked Asian men was likely not ever going to ask me out. I remember dancing with a white man once at a club, and he reached over and pulled my shirt front down to reveal my hairy chest.
He looked shocked and then turned and left the dance floor, not even a good-bye, like I'd lied to him about the goods. I like Asian men, he said, after this confession. It's why I lived in Japan, why I studied Japanese. I tried to imagine it. Having an erotic imagination so focused on one race of people.
All that my ex-boyfriends had in common was me. Questions I didn't ask ran through my head. Were you even gay if this is what your sexuality was? What was your sexuality if it was based on race and not gender preference? Especially if you were white? He vanished after that conversation.
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We never spoke again. In retrospect, I think he was letting himself out of the relationship by saying these things. Either way, I think we both knew, after my question and his answer, that there was nothing further for us. I left him some phone messages, none of which he returned. I don't know if he worked things out with his Japanese ex-boyfriend or what; I recall checking on him at that university and seeing at some point he had been given tenure.
Now when I look for him, there's no sign of him. It's hard for me to say what it meant to me, the time you spent looking over my family books.
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I'm writing to my grandfather this afternoon and will write the character on the envelope, and even pray for a little of my grandmother's calligraphy talent. Thank you for the primer on my family; until now, everything I knew about them came from their mouths.
As I face making a new relationship with them, which is what the last year has meant, this was a real help, a wonderful surprise. It's still the weirdest gift of that time, that he told me about me in a way no one else was able to tell me then.
The Social Study is the perfect spot. This cocktail bar and lounge is dark, sexy, and has a total pick-up vibe. In a good way. California Academy of Sciences NightLife. Or something like that.
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Seriously though, SF has so many kick-ass events where you get to try awesome food and drinks and meet cool people who also enjoy doing that. NightLife at the California Academy of Sciences. San Francisco Oysterfest.
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