Gay woman dating bisexuality

When Are We Going To Get Over Biphobia? – The Establishment

I told myself that the gay people in my life had only reacted this way because they were used to me exclusively dating men for so long, that they were adjusting to my coming out just as straight people were. But it was far from being all in my head. She then asked them to imagine themselves in the following fictional situation: You look across the room and see the hottest girl at the party. Sometimes, even women who sexually identify as lesbian are judged for sleeping with men prior to coming out.

Why is it that some lesbians and gay men tend to exclude bisexual people from their dating pool?


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According to a study published in the journal Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity , this could be linked to the fact that people generally perceive bisexuals as being more attracted to men than they are to women. The research shows that lesbian women had a more negative attitude toward bisexual women than bisexual men or gay men.

It is often implied that coming out as bisexual is a stepping-stone for coming out as gay.

‘What I learnt sleeping with bisexual guys’

While some people have come out as bisexual before coming out as gay for instance, Elton John , using bisexuality to test the homophobic waters is unfair to both people who identify as bisexual and to homosexuals. Yet bisexuality is not widely understood or accepted either, and using bisexuality as a stop-gap identity only furthers the assumption that bisexuals are lying about who we are. These generalizations and misconceptions are both entirely unfounded and downright tiring.

In reality it comes down to a fear of rejection.

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Lesbians fear being rejected for a man, and straight men fear being rejected for a woman. The idea that we are fickle and neglectful is ridiculous and there is no research to support it.

Many bisexuals are happy to be in and even seek out committed monogamous relationships. Not to mention, rejection can occur in any relationship, regardless of the sexuality of the couple. Therefore, the fear of being rejected for the opposite sex while dating a bisexual person is entirely irrational. And before that?


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Well, I was a teenager. As for the future, I will continue to be bisexual no matter the gender of my partner. We are what we are and we can always change.

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Dating as a bisexual person is as complicated living as one could be. There are added dangers because the myths about bisexuality persist across gay and straight communities, threatening not just to erase us but also to fetishise us on the dating scene. We fancy everyone. We are in denial. We are slowly and shamefully on our way to gay.

We love threesomes. Everyone is bi.

‘I May Never Date a Woman Again, But I Still Identify as Bisexual’

And on it goes. My advice for bisexual or bicurious people would be to be wary of anyone relying on such lazy stereotypes. Yet, it adds to our understanding of prejudice toward queer sexualities within communities dominated by lesbian women and gay men. We need all sexual and gender minorities to work together as allies against those seeking to erase us all.

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