Gay dating in medical school
While my expectations of her success have never been misguided, nothing could have prepared me for what dating a medical student has really been like, much less a medical student who lives two and a half hours away. Like any couple, we've had our ups and downs, but I know our relationship has made me a better person and even taught me a few things along the way.
10 Types Of Guys You Meet In Med School
Whether you're straight, gay, dating a medical student or not, here are five lessons I've learned in the past two years that any can apply to their relationship. When your significant other SO lives almost three hours away, the majority of your communication is probably limited to texting. And if you've ever sent a text to anyone, you know they are very easily misinterpreted. Now let's add hours of studying, not quite as many hours of sleep, and something as benign as "ok" can end up severely misinterpreted.
It may seem old fashioned, but actually talking on the phone or in person can prevent a handful of arguments. The times I could have complained over the past two years are countless, but if I had, this would probably be a list of five things that ruined my relationship. In medical school, your SO has a thousand things to worry about, and you are low on that totem pole.
Being a whiny boy- or girlfriend will only promote you on the list of things that need to go. Decide what's important to you and stand your ground on those things, but if it can be let go, it should be. Man oh man is this true, and if you're going to date a medical student, you need to accept this one from the beginning.
This, however, is not to say that your feelings and goals and happiness are not important.
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It's not about you, but it is about the two of you, and the key to any relationship is compromise. But really. Having your own life and your own friends is vital. If you sit around waiting to be included, you're going to be severely disappointed. Be your own person. Have your own interests. Being the non-medical half can be lonely, but having something or someone to turn to will preserve your sanity.
This is probably the most important lesson I've learned, and it applies not just to relationships, but to life too. In high school, dating meant seeing each other throughout the day and spending hours together watching movies and with friends. In college, it was grabbing lunch between classes and taking weekend trips to concerts. You could sit around doing nothing at all. Good luck getting a medical student to do that. Interactions are limited to minute study breaks, to brief moments before you fall asleep at the end of the day. Evening concerts at the park include your SO with a portable book stand and a stack of flash cards.
Walks together are taking out the trash or putting in a load of laundry. Though it may seem silly, these are the times you look forward to. Cherish them. It really is the small things that count, and when you're dating a medical student, the small things may be all either of you has time to give. I will get right to the point: They are very outspoken, never afraid to express their views, opinions, and feelings in several ways. Then there's the minority: The realists.
The "racists," "bigots," and "the heartless. I like Donald Trump because he puts America first and is actually getting things done.
1. Texting is the best way to start an argument.
He wants to make our country a better place. I want a wall to keep illegals out because I want my loved ones and me to be safe from any possible danger. I'm pro-life; killing an infant at nine months is inhumane to me and yet liberals say it's inhumane to keep illegals out…but let's not get into that right now. I hate feminism. Because modern feminism isn't even feminism. Slandering the male species and wanting to take down the patriarchy is just ridiculous. I hate the media. I don't trust anyone in it. I think they are all biased, pathological liars.
They purposely make our president look like the devil himself, leaving out anything good he does. I mostly keep my opinions to myself out of fear. When I end up getting one of my "twisted" and "uneducated" thoughts slip out, I cringe, waiting for the slap in the face. Don't get me wrong; not everyone at my university is hostile to those who think differently than they do. I've shared my opinions with some liberal students and professors before, and there was no bloodshed.
Sure, we may not see eye to eye, but that's okay. That just means we can understand each other a little better. Even though the handful of students and faculty I've talked to were able to swallow my opinions, I'm still overwhelmed by the thousands of other people on campus who may not be as kind and attentive. But you can't please everybody. That's just life. Your school is supposed to be a safe environment where you can be yourself.
Just because I think differently than the vast majority of my peers doesn't mean I deserve to be a target for ridicule. No one conservative does. Bottom line is that it's and I deserve the right to be myself and if anyone has a problem with that, then I'm prepared to accept the consequences.
Why homophobia is still common in medical school.
I disagree. I didn't come out until I was in medical school and from that point on I decided that I wasn't going to live in shame anymore. I had to go through 24 years of lying, avoiding questions, giving round about answers etc. I avoided relationships and missed out on a lot of experiences because of it.
After I came out to my close friends and family I just decided I would act like any normal person would act. Friday and people are talking about what they are doing, oh yeah, I have a date with my boyfriend so-and-so and we're going to check out that new movie.
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People don't just volunteer that they are heterosexual and it doesn't make sense to tell someone that except in the context of coming out to your inner circle. Otherwise, I allowed it to come up naturally in conversation as appropriate. I never made any attempt to hide it or emphasize it. Later I married a man and I always got questions about my wedding ring. I'm not the kind of gay that would be easily picked out of a line up.
I would careful and politely say something like. My husband so-and-so works as an accountant". I also started wearing a small caduceus on my white coal lapel that has the pride rainbow in the wings. It was subtle, but important to me. I was asked about it several times. One time an LGBT patient commented on it and how much they appreciated it. Anyways, my advise is to life your life, not live in shame. I went to med school in a pretty conservative red area and never had any problems.
I mean, you always have to read a situation. If someone is making overtly hostile comments then you be the judge. For me, I'm moving forward and living my life and accepting the risks associated with that. I matched my 1 in the most liberal city in America so I can be extra fabulous now yassss.
Be you and be proud to be you! Side note - being out isn't just about you feeling good, it's also about being there and visible so the NEXT person who is like you won't have to struggle with this as much. I'm not just proud to be gay, I'm also proud to have a role in making a space where other gay people can be comfortable, out, and successful. I agree. Our future lays in someone else's hands and relies on their views of us as individuals. Their personal bigoted beliefs can skew our entire image, even if we're excellent students. That's why I had commented on OP's post that it is best not to bring it up and make it harder on yourself.
It sucks, it's unfair, but it's reality for now. Again, I think you'd be surprised.
I Faced Homophobia in Med School. Not All Students Have It Better Today.
The vast majority have no problem. And I'm not going to fake who I am to make a handful of Bigots more comfortable. There are also mechanisms in place to help if you were evaluated adversely because of something like that. Regardless, my anecdotal evidence is no problems in a conservative area. Again, I accept the risk of acting like a normal human being so I don't have that weight on my shoulder everyday.