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All of these questions have been asked more than once so if you are reading this and think I am talking about you, I am not! I am talking about the other people that asked the same question. That problem solved, here goes: A lot of times after I told people that my 11 year old came out always with his direction or permission first!
I completely understand the impulse behind this question, the asker is trying to get the perspective of an adult that spends a lot of time with him. However, I resent the unspoken undercurrent of this question that somehow I would know better than him what his sexual orientation is. I like to pretend I am an expert on everything and I generally love when people come to me for my opinion or advice.
But even I will admit there are some things that only the person themselves can define and know, and who they are attracted to is one of them.
Asking if I was surprised is a way to gauge whether or not there was more of a backstory while still acknowledging that my opinion of the situation is not necessarily the same as the truth of the situation. And for the record: We were not surprised in the least that he is gay.
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First of all, this is a question asked of all queer people for time immemorial. Immediately after the first person ever came out as gay, their mom asked them if it was a phase. I have a few answers to this question: Like I ranted about above, only he can identify himself, and I will fight very hard so that his right to do that is respected.
Sexual Orientation (for Parents) - KidsHealth
Maybe he will identify as gay his whole life and then one day fall in love with a woman and keep identifying as gay, or not, maybe he will have several partners who are all nonbinary, maybe five years from now he will identify as straight, who knows? This question is just straight up bullshit. The answer is no.
Lots of people talk about knowing their sexual orientation at a much younger age. Most straight and not straight people definitely have at least clues to their sexual orientation well before age Because I love this story so much: I remember the first time I was attracted to someone.
I just checked and that movie came out a few months before I turned six, so the age is about right. Long story short, lots of kids totally know who they are attracted to. I love this question! This question always makes me feel like a very successful parent. I am working on getting that toaster.
Old Ellen joke which makes me feel old because it was from when she had a sitcom, but Ellen was totally one of my queer roots so I need to give credit where credit is due. More Radical Reads: On This Edge: As I mentioned above, my husband and I are both queer. There is this cool new thing actually it is old and not usually seen as that cool called bisexuality!
I highly recommend it. For the first time, the pope has summoned the presidents of every Catholic bishops conference around the world to discuss this topic alone. James Martin, a best-selling Jesuit author, in a recent tweet.
4 Ridiculous Questions People Asked Me When my 11 Year Old Came Out as Gay
As David Clohessy, a longtime advocate for survivors of sexual abuse by priests , said to me on the phone a few days ago: What they may take away is this: Catholic priests are twisted characters. And gay men are creatures of stealth and agents of deception who band together in eccentric societies with odd rituals. I asked Martel what his aim was. My concern is not that the church will be better or worse.
I asked him if he worried about homophobes weaponizing the book. The cardinals most accepting of gays, he said, are those who are probably straight. All else aside, the book speaks to the enormous and seemingly growing tension between a church that frequently vilifies and marginalizes gay men and a priesthood dense with them. It explains why so many gay men entered the priesthood, especially decades ago: Their sense of being outsiders gave them a more spiritual bent and greater desire to help others in need. They were trying, psychologically and emotionally, to survive. The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor.
Myths and Facts About Male Sexual Abuse and Assault
Here are some tips. I invite you to sign up for my free weekly email newsletter. You can follow me on Twitter FrankBruni. An earlier version of this article included an outdated affiliation for the Rev.