Dating older gay men
Do you have questions about Social Security? Whether you're single again after the end of a long-term relationship or you've been around the block a few times still on the hunt for Mr. Right, gay dating isn't easy. See also: Romancing on a budget. But don't let that be your excuse for sitting home on Saturday night watching reruns of The Golden Girls. These strategies can help you develop your inner explorer to make dating after 50 a little less daunting: You're never too old to find love, but that's not a message gay men hear very often.
After years of "working on ourselves" and fighting social prejudice to gain self-esteem, many of us struggle to keep it. The hurdle this time? The gay community's — OK, let's get real, mostly the gay male community's — ageism. Worried you aren't good-looking enough anymore?
Who'd want you when there's some year-old hottie turning everyone's heads at the gym? Don't even let yourself go there. Focus instead on being your best self, no matter what your age. And remember that the most important characteristics — loyalty, humor, intelligence and compassion — are ageless.
If you think you're too old for love or you stopped believing that you can find someone to love who'll love you back, think again. Maybe you just stopped believing in the kind of naive love that you can only trust when you're young. But what about the deeper, more mature love that allows for the wide spectrum of experience and truth? That's where you should set your sights.
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For every something entering the gay dating scene full of wide-eyed wonder, there's a something or a , or older-something man back on the market after a relationship ends. One is learning the rules; the other has "been there, dated that" and wonders, "Now what? The truth is that you've earned your age. You really can own it. Focus on what you've gained — rich experiences, accomplishments, survivor skills and wisdom. Your next romantic partner will benefit from all of that, and from your passions for the life that's in front of you.
Give up wishing you could turn back time. Give up trying to be perfect, too, especially if that's a code word for "young.
Instead of trying to be 25 again, get comfortable in your skin. Feel good about your body. That way, when someone touches you, they'll really feel you, and not a bundle of self-critical tension. Think more about keeping a sparkle in your eyes and less on fighting the fine lines around them. Does walking into a gay bar make you feel more out of place than Lady Gaga shopping for clothes at a mall? Yes, it's true that the Olympic-sized pool of dating prospects you swam in years ago seems like a lap lane when you reach your 50s.
So the best bet is to cast a wider net. Get off of the sideline and get involved in your passions and interests.
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For example, if you like the outdoors, join a gay hiking or walking group, and meet men while you get fresh air and exercise. Focus on smaller parties, events centered on hobbies and interests, and volunteer opportunities. And, if you haven't already, try online dating, which is bringing new hope to those of us who don't have a ton of time or want to hang out at bars.
Check out sites such as Match.
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Then create a profile that reflects who are you, what you want and includes recent photos. Don't post the online profile of Dorian Gray by showing off your shiny youth. When it comes to truth in advertising, it's one thing to shave a couple of years off. It's another to leave out an entire decade! If you want a real relationship, then be real.
Lying raises a serious red flag. Your date will wonder, "If he's not honest about his age, what other lies is he telling? Third, take good care of yourself physically. Think healthy and fit rather than plastic surgery and liposuction and Botox. A guy who has a fit body and who cares for himself can be sexy at any age. Finally, being friendly and outgoing without coming across as pushy is a big plus.
How I Met My Daddy - VICE
An easy smile and genuine manner are appealing to most of men. Be generous — not with your money, but with your time, skills and experience. Do yourself a big favor and find some older men you can enjoy and admire — men who are enjoying life and living well.
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John R. Ballew, M.
How I Met My Daddy
His clients are busy professionals, people of varied ethnic and racial backgrounds, LGBT men and women and clients from age 18 to 70 or more. You can learn more about John and his practice at http: Your email address will not be published. Leave this field empty. Dating Dating as an Older Man 0 Comments. Compatible Partners — Review your matches for free Most of us find men close to our own ages most attractive for dating purposes.
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