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It's the same in pickup Finally, start paying attention to the rhythm of your communication. Rhythm, expression and sexuality are all intertwined, and it's important to deliver a smooth flow, modulating things dynamically. Like, they're having a damn seizure. The girls are like, WTF??

Or sometimes, it's weird, spastic hand gestures. Or maybe they're just shifting from foot to foot incessantly. In any case, it's not long before the ladies start giving each other that "let's get the hell out of here" eye code. The point is, these things are subcommunicating a lack of confidence. In other words, while your words might be those of a suave-ass James Bond type, the subtext is that of Steve Urkel. Just take a deep breath, and relax. This ain't brain surgery, Bucko.

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This is related to 2, in the sense that the perp is taking things way too seriously. The difference is, in this case, the guy is acting like he's an appointee for the Supreme Court being interrogated by the Senate Judiciary Committee. All business.

Giving curt, matter of fact responses to everything the chick says. Not to engage in a job interview.

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Loosen up, bro. Have a little fun yourself. Don't be afraid to act a little foolish. Joke around. The only thing you should be thinking about is what's unfolding as you go in.

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Consider this: Given that, doesn't it make sense that you'd need as much "processor speed" as humanly possible in order to perceive what's happening, decide what the proper course of action is, and respond instantly? Sure it does. Cycling through failure scenarios in your head isn't gonna do anything but rob you of that precious brainpower. Worse, that internal pollution is gonna taint the broadcast: Don't do it! Controlling the frame means controlling the context and the direction of the conversation. Being commanding.

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Too many guys will hear an unfavorable comment and just deflate and give up. Or sometimes, the girls will say something negative about them and they fall into it by addressing it. The next thing you know, the discussion is out of their control and they're faced with the distasteful choice of either digging themselves out of the hole, or giving up and ejecting. At this point, most guys do the latter. Frankly, so would I. Best to prevent things from getting to that point in the first place. That means cutting off threads thatwork against you.

That means talking over people who are saying things that don't lead the conversation in the ways you want it to go. His parents give him the freedom to make his own decisions, hang out with anyone he wants, and stay out all weekend if he so desires. Cal goes to school where he started a Gay-Straight Alliance GSA , works part-time in a retail store, and spends 20 hours a week volunteering for various queer youth programs.

While Cal forms strong opinions on issues and pushes them in arguments with others, his mind is also generally open to new things. Cal has a way of flirting that communicates his energy for sex and his desire to love and be loved. Cal is known for his excellent skills at sex.

Some people describe Cal as earthy and raw, fun and adventurous. Cal is always happy when he stumbles on a new person who might be good to have sex with.

Although Cal enjoys sex with lots of people, he is still also conducting a search for a life-long companion. Because of the generally negative slant that gets put on sexuality, Cal began to feel guilty for all the fun he was having. He became torn between what came naturally to him and what society told him he should do. Feeling intense regret and fear, he turned to his circle of friends for support.