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I've dated black. I've dated white. Being raised in the suburbs of Southern California I never really saw the extremity of segregation until my adult years. The white kids always thought my curly hair was cooler than theirs and even my clique of elementary playground bandits ranged from pale and Mormon to first generation Hispanics.
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Years down the line, when I started partying in the streets of West Hollywood, it was obvious that although we played for the same team, there was a division of race, culture and attitude between gay men. When I decided to try the swirl when it came to dating, my eyes were opened to a whole other level of judgment from my both peers and onlookers. One guy told me I was not black. Not even having met me yet, my yellow skin led him to the conclusion that I couldn't be black even after I told him I was.
Now, I could have emailed him a copy of my family tree and come up with a lengthy rebuttal, but I did not feel the need to justify my race to someone I didn't even know. The spectacle all came crashing down when I invited him, as well as his friend, in town to a club one night. It was a somewhat mixed crowd jamming out to the latest J. Cole, but the promoter that night was black and the crowd reflected that. When he and his friend disappeared 20 minutes after we toasted at the neon-illuminated bar, I texted him asking where we was.
I'm so embarrassed. Although we may have both been open to dating, or at least having sex, outside of our race, I knew from his response that he would never be able to digest the culture I was born into. I later dated another guy. Tall, white and handsome.
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Because of his previous boyfriends, he was well adapted to black gay culture, and although he could never live a day in my shoes, I could appreciate that. But here's the kicker. On top of being a different race, he was 20 years older than me. But that wasn't the case at all. We laughed. We argued. We had DVD slumber parties that didn't end up with sex. I actually liked him. Despite our age difference, we operated how I would usually operate if I was dating someone my age.
But that and race made it seem like he was a creeper prowling on a young black boy. The way my friends digested it was even more eye opening.
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I rarely brought him around my young black queer friends. But when I did they would almost congratulate me as if I won the jackpot; they did this without even having a conversation with the man. We provide an efficient and trustworthy platform for singles looking for interracial dating in the US.
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