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The first guy I ever dated — met on a fairly popular site — turned into a two-month-long story until he ghosted me. Being my first experience ever, the effect was shattering on my self-esteem, as he just used me to rebound after a long-time relationship gone wrong. The following two years, my last ones in America, only featured some online flirting.

We awkwardly bumped into each other a month later, outside the tube station. He then texted me that night how we just wanted different things and that I was amazing and deserved better, apologising for not having the guts to tell me face to face. Too little too late but I appreciated the gesture, for a change.

Are you a married man, or in a relationship with a woman, and have feelings towards men?

Plus I gained a better understanding of how being honest with yourself and with others is the key to dating. After another period of radio silence, I started using a couple of apps and sites again which only led to further disappointment. We are different on many levels but we had a few important things in common: I hate when people tell you how love will find you when you stop searching and all that zen crap. Nobody knows how the universe works. What makes the difference in the end is persistence and clarity about what you want.

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