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In response to the sleazy coverage, the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association released a statement calling public sex "as foreign to the lives of most gay people as it is to most straight people. The shadows of that life provided a place for a lot of freedom and self-exploration, where you didn't have to identify or explain yourself or be some kind of example. But Griffith, naturally, didn't see his site's users as outside the norm.

Cruising Isn't Dead—If You Know Where to Look

To him, exploring yourself outside the stultifying confines of an apartment or house was as natural as the trees that grow around a truck stop. He had a vision of a world where everyone could enjoy public, anonymous, and safe sex. Griffith died from complications of cancer and AIDS in , and the site has since been under the watchful eye of Bob Sienkiewicz. Despite the site's waning traffic, I was still able to find a few recently updated sex spots near my apartment in West Hollywood—including a urinal at my go-to grocery where I'd once noticed a dude lingering a bit too long. I talked to Sienkiewicz about the hottest spots for hooking up in , why he's still leery of TV journalists, and what today's gays misunderstand about the generation who cruised the country in the 90s.


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Are there any trends you can identify in terms of activity on the site—certain cities, states, or countries that are currently seeing a lot of public action? Bob Sienkiewicz: Florida always seems to have lots of activity, from the beginning of the site continuing to today.


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I get lots of reviews of parks, beaches, adult bookstores, and sex clubs, mainly in Fort Lauderdale. When I visited Central Florida with my first ex a few times in the s, in so many places—in Orlando, the Space Coast, Lakeland, and especially the I-4 rest areas—there always seemed to be someone cruising. You could just see that look. We didn't see that in the Orlando theme parks, probably because they were simply too busy or we were too busy. These days I'm seeing more and more reviews from Las Vegas. These include not only gay cruising [spots] but also for straight couples who seek action with other men.

I also see more frequent posts in Vegas and elsewhere looking for trans women, as well as [for] cisgender men who identify themselves as cross-dressers. It's rare that I see posts by or looking for trans men, although there are a few. There have always been a lot of reviews for places in rural and small-town areas. Recently, I seem to see more from Pennsylvania and Michigan, especially.

West Virginia, which Keith had written about years ago, is still quite active. I think that men in small towns, especially those in traditional marriages and families, go to small-town bookstores and public places, or else travel to bathhouses or porn theaters in larger cities—Indianapolis, Milwaukee, Memphis, Dallas—to find what they're looking for.

The Girls Who Use Grindr. Have any reviews popped up in places you wouldn't expect? I've learned not to be surprised by anything.

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Military bases? Shopping center toilets in Guam or Manila? The man who wrote about taking his inch dildo to an adult bookstore and how he wanted to return with his Great Dane? I don't know if people are writing about factual experiences or the "true experiences" they wish they had, but generally you can tell from a pattern of reviews—just as with Yelp or whatever—what the character of a place is like.

I have vague memories of TV reporters using bathroom busts to stoke anti-gay hysteria during television sweeps week. Were you an active user of Cruising for Sex at the time? If so, what was it like to live through that? I had been using Cruising for Sex in the late 90s. I think we all understood that this type of publicity happened for ratings purposes, even before the site.

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How you behaved in a park or at a beach—I lived in San Diego County then—really involved having to have discretion and common sense anyhow, regardless of [whether it was] sweeps. This still goes on, although I don't know if it's specifically tied into the old Nielsen ratings periods or if there's some other criteria.

I'm still single and I really can't tell if these venues for meeting guys really work Think more of the problem is gay culture itself. Finding men that are men that know what they want out of life takes time. Shallow is the thing that runs rampant in the culture and it just gets old. Main thing, you have to be true to yourself and what you seek and stay away from all the unnecessary drama and bull. In bigger cities, these are options, where I live, things to do or clubs to join are pretty much non-existent.

Just have to remain positive and realize you don't need someone in your life to be happy A little about me I currently live in sunny Arizona. I go to as many Festivals here in the valley as much as I can. I write poetry script writing I love the Art galleries here in the valley. If your living in the valley hit me up. The problem that I have is often on dating sites there are a lot of effeminate men and not men's men.

I need a guy whom Is serious. I will love him as a husband and treasure him. Please anyone there? I begin think I,ve tried them all. I hate going now to bars there use to be good quality guys there but not any more. I use to meet good quality men at a straight gym. I find the gay community in the gay village are real snobby "if you are not a typical gay activists or look a certain way they want nothing to do with you.

I would like to just talk to you and I hope you can help I have been looking for someone with a good persanoite I can't seem too find any one. I'd like clarify something in regard what dating websites generally dont and is because places like OLCupid, albeit free and with many men options, by being free anybody can use it, couples looking for a third for fun or love, bored men browsing and looking to find, simply guys looking for and because of there's a lack of "quality men" we found ourselves going on dates that don't workout if they don't flake on you the very day of the date For those of you who are SERIOUS and commited to find a partner, you need to chose more discretionary websites that usually comes with membership costs they vary based on different factors but all aimed to pair you with the right candidates.

No one who pays money even top money for dating online services unless seriously invested and a great gatekeeper for bored couples or gossipy flakey men. Hello age 27 am looking for a nice guy to date with please help me am single, from Southern Africa Zambia. Someone who is mature and good to me.

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Perhaps I'm single because of my personality. I've been told that I am peculiar and quirky. I wish I were somewhat average sometimes. Deep down there I am still that shy and lonely guy who dreams about a little home for me and a man to protect me and love me. Nonetheless, I try to remain strong and confident. Well, that's life. Life is a mess. Life is a bitch, but this doesn't mean you have to be one. I'm not. I think the problem is all this social media hype and a radical overuse of technology. Most people dont really want to be labelled or have to fit into defined groups in order to meet other people.

My advice and i have never been alone for more than two or three months in all my 65 years is go out, or as my mother used to say, join clubs. Nothing changes only that the powers that me want to control us better for their own nefarious purposes. Im looking for someone i could share the hardship and joy of life. Someone with whom i could take pride in each of our victories and put my backs and tears behind each of our struggles. Someone who would see the virtue of a knight instead of madman. Someone with whom i could strive for greatness.

The one who would forgive my trespasses for i too am still learning to love. Someone who does not give up on words and promises but are willing to go through pain and wrong while building something and perhaps the only thing that really matters. Is out there another madman another man of chivalry?

How to Meet Other Gay People

Or have all days of glory passed in favor of cheap hedonism? David from 4 months ago I've been in a relationship for 30 years I'm not sure monogamy is the answer either. I think we need variety. There is no easy answer, unless you meet your soul mate.

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I live on the side of a mountain in a great home. Your site is for those great looking hunks that didn't score last Saturday night. Sorry for the bad grammar and misspelling in my previous comment, basically what i was saying is that the stereotype of muscle men that most gay men want Just want sex And from what I've gathered Most gay men in general So in their minds, they don't need to be tied down. I'm pretty much over the dating scene, and don't even want to hook up Barely any gay man close to my age 20s really wants a relationship these days I'll preface this with saying its an opinion based on anecdotal evidence and personal experience, rather than statistics.

I trust much of this will ring true to many though. Also I feel none of this contradicts the above.


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As a gay man happily partnered for 10 years now trust me More often the lack of gay population seems to be secondary to the mindset of partner hunting developed unconsciously from the scene, in which a 6 pack or big guns are considered more important than the ability to put two words together, let alone for any type of emotional connection.

When I ask my friends what their ideal partner is, despite them being great boyfriend material, their 'type' has evolved into primary importance on physical attributes and anything else is secondary.