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And racism especially harms gay men of color.
It is troubling to see racial hierarchies reified in online queer dating spaces because queer people should know better. Queerness does not give whites a pass to be openly racist.
Most queer whites know the pain of social marginalization, yet they marginalize queer people of color in online dating communities. I want to live in a pluralistic world, where whiteness holds the same value as all other amalgams of race, ethnicity, and culture. It is unclear whether OkTrends included bisexual men when calculating response rates. OkTrends also did not report data on transgender individuals.
Wonky Wednesday: Still, it was a very lonely time for me.
Wonky Wednesday: Racism in Gay Online Dating
As I slowly came to terms with my sexuality, I started going to gay bars and clubs. I have always admired gay men who are confident in themselves. I definitely find a lot of black men, like myself, to be more reserved about their sexuality, in comparison to gay, white males.
I question where this confidence stems from: Does it come from within? From family support? Or from the media?
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The media openly embraces white homosexuals and their lifestyles unlike homosexuality in the black community. I wonder as a young boy, if I would have seen a black, gay man on screen that I could relate to, if this would have led me down a path of acceptance, rather than rejecting my true self. It sounds ridiculous, but because I longed to have a network and support system I played up to this. I was tired of being an outsider and I craved validation.
This gay dating app is designed for 'lovers of diversity' | SBS Sexuality
In a way, I even felt proud of myself because I was finally seeking approval from other gay men, rather than trying to fool people into believing I was straight. No one should have to act in a way that is unnatural — regardless of race or sexuality. In an interview with The Guardian , Russell T. Davies, the screenwriter and producer behind the boundary-pushing, queer-centered series "Queer as Folk," shared a theory as to why it has taken so long for any LGBTQ characters to get the lead in a mainstream teen romcom.
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But while "Love, Simon" and "Call Me By Your Name" are victories insofar as they center characters in whom white, straight movie executives perhaps can't quite see themselves, it ultimately reminded me that white gay men often fail to see that their blind spot about race in the LGBT community is almost as big as their straight counterparts' inability to notice gay men in Hollywood.
This is not a knock on Davies: To those ready to shout What about "Moonlight? It was a sad Mary J.