Gay dating loneliness

A Step-by-Step Approach To Feeling More Confident and Less Insecure

The underlying issue is that, by their nature, gay men are, frequently, incredibly damaged. The results speak for themselves. I do not think it is a stretch to say that the extremely high rates of suicide among queer youth can be directly traced to this sort of all-or-nothing level of support.


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See, when a heterosexual goes through a breakup, there is an entire community of support waiting for them in the wings. Mom, dad, sister uncle, all universally relate and empathize with the heartbroken straight boy.

Gay, middle-aged, and lonely as hell

These are the butterflies who could end up violently splattered on the grille of a car without even a modicum of remorse on behalf of literally everyone. Good riddance, you pervy rainbow moth. Gay puberty features significantly more bumps along the way. Imagine, instead, of a caterpillar in its cocoon being ripped from the branch, stomped on repeatedly, and somehow managing to emerge, broken, but alive nonetheless.

This damaged larva begins its post-transformation existence with broken wings, attempting to the best of its ability to assimilate into the life and culture of its peers. Often failing to do so, a fellow damaged monarch approaches it and offers, at once, a sense of familiarity, unity and aid.

Finally, someone who gets it. Instead of insects, imagine that damage lies within the heart of a human being. A heart that has faced dogma and violent opposition of its own kind. The heart of a young, gay man is one that has been stomped and bruised since its inception. While it continues to beat, through lens of judgment and basic survival, it fails to empathize with those even within its own community.

Infidelity, internalized homophobia, and all sorts of destructive behaviors are fueled by an overwhelming sense of self-hatred and guilt. Things that are not intrinsically or naturally a product of its lifestyle, but rather the environment with which it so inefficaciously tries to perform. A gay man is a butterfly with broken wings trying its best to fly.

A gay man is a human with a broken heart, trying its best to love. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account.

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Most nonwork days, my only interactions are with people in the service industry. I am well-groomed, employed, a homeowner, and always nice to people. I go to a therapist and take antidepressants. However, this painful loneliness, depression, aging, and feeling unnoticed seem to be getting the best of me. I cry often and would really like it all to end. Any advice?

Lonely Aging Gay. Hobbes is a reporter for HuffPost and recently wrote a mini-book-length piece titled Together Alone: The Epidemic Of Gay Loneliness. During his research, Hobbes found that, despite growing legal and social acceptance, a worrying percentage of gay men still struggle with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.

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Loneliness, Hobbes explained to me, is an evolutionary adaptation, a mechanism that prompts us humans—members of a highly social species—to seek contact and connection with others, the kind of connections that improve our odds of survival. Being lonely, on the other hand, is subjective: Random cool cousins LAG never got to know.


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Volunteering gigs you fell out of. I see others, gay and straight, having long-term relationships, getting engaged, getting married, and it makes me sad and jealous.

The Loneliness of Being a Gay Man in – UIC Radio

Some of them are jerks—and if them, why not me? I know your advice can be brutal, Dan, but what do I have to lose?

Alone And Fading. It just is.

How to Cope When You're Gay and Lonely

In Going Solo: More than 50 percent of adult Americans are single and live alone, up from 22 percent in Whether you allow your lack of a soul mate to make you bitter, desperate, or contemptuous is not. So be happy for the young jerks coupling up and settling down. He could be your Disney prince, sure. I am a year-old gay male. I am hugely overweight and have not had much experience with men. I go on a variety of websites trying to make contact with people. However, if anyone says anything remotely complimentary about me, I panic and run. A compliment about my physical appearance?