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She might be my primary go-to girl, but there are a lot of female friends I have, all of whom I have great amazing friendships with, the kind of friendship some of their boyfriends get intimidated by. What makes these ladies connect so amazingly well with us? Why are we such a hot commodity when it comes to the kinda friends women want?

The emerging science of 'bromosexual' friendships

I think it's a lot to do with the fact that we are no threat to them in any way whatsoever - neither are we objectifying them, nor are we trying to get into their pretty A-line dresses. On the other hand, we are also not secretly bitching about them behind their backs with our other friends, there are absolutely no insecurities or envy involved, and we don't see them as competition.

So friendships with gay people are relatively more comfortable and quick vs a friendship with a straight man or another woman both of which can also be amazing friends BTW. When women talk to us about their problems, we listen. But more importantly we offer them insights that range from emotional to practical, and honest through and through, because we have absolutely no pressure to flatter or please her.

Dannielle Says:

And when it's about their relationships, we give them perspective they require to understand the man involved, that blends amazingly with the emotional understanding and empathy we have to offer. We also understand why she hates that HR woman in the office, why her landlord is a douchebag, why her boyfriend is or is not a keeper, and why she has a difficult relationship with her father.

And we understand her pain, the inequality she sometimes faces, her fears, the biases. We know, because in some form or the other, we have faced those things too. On a lighter note, we make for amazing soundboards when they want to talk about sex with the male species. We can talk about it way better, we can compare notes, and tell you the exact weak points of a guy's anatomy and how to drive your man crazy.

The straight men dating men and the gay men who fall in love with them

We will tell them exactly why that black skirt is making them look fat, why yellow is just their color on any day, and when they need a frigging hair spa. All of that without making her feel bad about herself. Hell, we will even let them borrow our white scarf that goes perfectly well with their blue dress. We will go ape shit crazy on your ass if you say anything less than fabulous about her, because we are fiercely protective and loyal to them girls.

We are the agony aunt, the sister, the brother, the friend, the mother, the tough love, the 3 AM friend, the stylist, the TLC, sometimes the mother too, if we have to be. And most importantly they can be totally who they are with us. Chances are we are as crazy, if not more. We will always be there to add colors to their day.

Obviously we will rather spice it up with sass first, but what the hell. Match your effort to his. Call as much as he calls.


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Text as much as he texts. I know guys can send mixed signals sometimes. He has no desire to date you. If you leave his place at 2: Ditch him, or just keep him around as a booty call that you kick out at 2am. The subway runs all night. Lamar Dawson is a pop culture junkie living in Manhattan. We get it: But advertising revenue helps support our journalism. To read our full stories, please turn off your ad blocker.

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