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What's Working: Annise Parker, its mayor from to , is the only openly L. Our cities and our states often dictate how easily we can be our true selves at work, buy wedding cakes, construct families — even die. He told me about Picayune, Miss.

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They had been together for half a century. South Carolina: They had trouble trying to adopt in South Carolina, so they turned to California and to surrogacy to have their year-old daughter and 4-year-old son. To protect his kids from such ugliness, he has created, and works to preserve, a bubble of open-minded people around them.

He recalled a trip not long ago to San Francisco, where his husband reached out to hold his hand in public and he reflexively tensed. Holding hands. Such a small thing — and yet so incredibly big for many gay couples in conservative environments and even for some couples in more liberal areas that can nonetheless seem threatening.

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That came through poignantly in more than 1, responses that The Times received after asking L. Readers were acutely conscious of the absence or presence of employment-related anti-discrimination laws in their cities or states. Only 22 states have such laws governing all gay and lesbian workers, in both the public and the private sectors, while only 20, including New York, have them for transgender workers as well. Readers mentioned the vigor, or laxness, with which their local governments patrolled against and prosecuted hate crimes.

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    In , Gov. Sam Brownback rescinded one that covered only public employees. On the state level, the yardsticks for measuring respect for L. More and more mental health professionals are speaking out unequivocally about its dangers, and more and more state legislatures are outlawing it for minors. But that leaves 41 states without any such prohibition. The geographic variations for transgender people may well be the starkest.

    Harper Jean Tobin, the policy director for the National Center for Transgender Equality , noted that there are states — Nevada, for one — where changing your designated gender on a government document requires only affidavits from people who know you.

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    • Ah, Alabama. They all really like me. And I want you to look at me. You know me. The Alabama House voted 60 to 14 in favor of the bill, after which the Alabama Senate voted 23 to 9. Americans as the one we have now is, because some of those Americans live in Alabama — or Texas. Please upgrade your browser.

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      Human Rights Campaign. After I was invited to share my coming-out story in the public library, patrons complained and the talk was canceled. I stay here because my children are near.