Dating at 29

Over the past six years I have changed a lot as a person and the superficial things matter less to me then they once did. With that time to grow I know exactly what I am looking for when I am dating someone, and it has nothing to do with the kind of car they drive.

29 Eye-Opening Facts About Dating That Will Change The Way You View Relationships

What I once use to rationalize when I was dating someone new is no longer the case. My theory, only date someone who actually wants to date you as much as you want to date them. Why does it have to be a one-way street? At 29 I choose not to deal with that.

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All right I am guilty of this. I loved to go for that type. The cocky guy who is just going to play you. I just figured that is how it is. Which is why I will no longer date a fuck boy because I rather have a real connection with someone then just an immediate attraction. If you see a fuck boy at age 29, run! Your twenties about discovering who you are as an adult.

After you learn to really value your worth, you know what you deserve. No one deserves someone who is just going to mess with your head all the time. Someone who is going to see all the wonderful things everyone else in your life sees about you. This is something you will learn.

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I had all the time in world to find someone special that I would want to spend my life with. As you start pushing thirty that mentality changes. Right is still out there.

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I remember when I would come home from a date, sit down with my friends and analyze everything to see what it all meant. Everything had to mean something then. Now I just live in the moment and take everything that happens at face value. If I feel it went well then that is all I care about. Who cares? Dating is so much more enjoyable when you stop analyzing it all. Click To Tweet. At 23 playing games in the dating world is standard. There is an unwritten set of rules we all seem to play by. But you know what think of those rules now; they are complete bullshit. If you like someone just go with it and stop thinking about the rules.

If you both like each other it will all work out the way it is supposed to — with or without playing the game. What do you think? Lauren graduated from Hofstra University with a bachelor's degree in communications and a minor in psychology. She enjoys spinning, crafting, and Saints football. It sounds patronizingly obvious, but you need to be places -- both real and virtual -- where you will meet new people.

So, when your department is having a happy hour with another department from the third floor, just go. When your friend from college invites you to a party and you won't know anyone but her and her husband, just go. Use online dating and app dating. When you have work to do on a Sunday afternoon, do it at a coffee shop rather than at your kitchen table. You probably won't meet someone at that coffee shop -- I've worked at coffee shops at least 12, times in the past five years and never once got a date from it -- but you definitely won't meet a date alone in your apartment without the Internet.

I have a lovely home office, but I'm not going to meet anyone there except my lemur stuffed animal. Be selective. When I started online dating, I aimed to sample the diversity of men. I went out with lawyers, teachers, chefs, engineers, freelance web designers, horse whisperers and the unemployed. I tried tall guys, short guys, overly fit guys, nerdy guys, older guys, younger guys, sub-attractive guys and men of different nationalities.

I thought maybe I didn't know what's good for me, so I was willing to go out with anyone non-murdery-looking. That was a mistake.


  • 29 Eye-Opening Facts About Dating That Will Change The Way You View Relationships | Thought Catalog.
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There are some qualities that I require, at least at this point in my life. Tinder is a great tool for improving your selectivity. I used to deliberate before a left swipe -- really assess the pictures from all angles, squint a bit. Better than meeting all of those people in person! Realize that it's about the connection between you both and not your quality as individuals. I've come away from dates enthusiastic and swooning, thinking I came off as indisputably charming and certain that a fulfilling relationship would ensue.

And then he never wanted to see me again. Either he disappeared or claimed that he would be busy for the foreseeable future or our text-exchange just dwindled into nothing. Maybe sometime next week? Okay, I get it. He's not interested.


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  • Real Talk: The Differences in Dating at 23 vs. 29 - GenTwenty.
  • Everything You Need To Know About Dating A 30-Year-Old Man As A 20-Something Girl.
  • 30 Truths About Dating in Your Thirties - Verily.

My acceptance of his non-interest is paired with indignation. Doesn't he realize how good we would be together?

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We have so much in common. We're both from Pittsburgh and living in Boston. He went to Brown and I went to Dartmouth! We both like spicy food and dogs! My hair looked great and I was witty and impressive and asked him the appropriate number of questions! How could he not want to date me?

But I've also been on the other side of that situation. I have gone out with kind, attractive, accomplished individuals who fulfilled all of my aforementioned criteria. I really wanted to like them, but I didn't.

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I felt, "meh," for no determinable reason. I could have gone out with them six dates more, two months more,or never again, and it wouldn't have made much difference to me. They were good men. I am a good woman. We just didn't have the right connection. This realization is what calms me to the whole dating process. Other components of my life are great -- work is fulfilling, my friendships are fun and supportive and my favorite Spinning teacher Kara is teaching on Thursday nights. I'd rather go to Spinning with Kara, followed by beers with friends to immediately retox than dash across town for a blind date.

Mondays are date nights because that's what's convenient for me right now, at this stage in my life. I'm not scheduling my life around dating -- nor am I letting the outcome of particular dates overly weigh on my emotions or hopefulness. But I am selectively dating and "putting myself out there" and this is a good strategy for now. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. So, if you want to be as successful as me at dating meaning I'm quite single, but cool about it , here are some tips: Invest minimal time, energy and emotion on the first date.

Sequin mini-skirt By marketing, he meant having hot chicks pass out free hats with his "brand" on them. He dashed my hopes of this in years Exist as many places as you can without going too far out of your way. I involuntarily and audibly react to ones that are preposterous to me.