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Particularly important to gay men are problems with sexual function as they age. The refractory period between orgasms is longer.

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Medications of many sorts, including antihypertensives and antidepressants, decrease libido and genital function. Chronic medical illness can take the sizzle out of sex life. So do the sexual side effects of some surgeries, notoriously those after prostatectomy for cancer. Mature gay men refuse to let these changes and difficulties deter them.

The availability of medications for erectile dysfunction, Viagra and others, has made it possible for many men to have fuller and happier sexual lives. Older gay men have the same desire for physical and emotional intimacy as do younger ones. The pattern of sexual activity a man had in his youth tends to persist as he ages. In several surveys, as many as three quarters of gay men report being happy with their sexual life.

In some studies over half of these men reported having sex at least once a week with a partner and this is in addition to the masturbating that most men also do.

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They know more about what turns them on and are less self-conscious about asking for it. Having more free time, less stressful work lives, and more self-acceptance contribute to an enhanced sense of sexual possibilities. The highly valued sexual experience tends to shift from the drive directly to orgasm to a fuller erotic life. Affection, cuddling and emotional closeness are increasingly important. Some gay men are finding that their sex life is better than ever.

In some ways, no one is more surprised about this phenomenon than they are. This well—known arrangement between a much older man and a much younger one can serve many functions.

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Sometimes these are pathologic, such as the exploitation of one by the other for sexual gratification or economic gain. The range of sexual options for older gay men has dramatically increased. Formerly restricted to cruising on the street, picking up men in bars, and having anonymous sex in bathhouses, gay men are now exploring the Internet. Through sites such as SilverDaddies and many others, men can set up sexual encounters not just nearby but also in other locales, including foreign countries.

Sometimes such relationships evolve from this unlikely source. Taken together, my review of trends in gay men over 50 shows that they want sex and value it highly. Many have full and satisfying sexual lives. They are healthier and living longer, often more resilient for having met formidable life challenges in their youth. Men who are in relationships do better than those who are socially isolated. The pattern of gratification tends to shift from explicit genital contacts to other, more generalized erotic practices such as holding and cuddling.

The possibilities for sexual connection are broadening, including new options such as the Internet. Older gay men who take a forward-looking, optimistic approach to life in general are more likely to have a satisfying sexual life. Brian B. Some gay men do move out of less tolerant states, but this effect is small. I estimate that the openly gay population would be about 0.

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The percent of male high school students who identify themselves as gay on Facebook is also much lower in less tolerant areas. Because high school students are less mobile than adults, this suggests that a gay exodus from these areas is not a large factor. We can approach the question of whether intolerant areas actually have fewer gay men another way, too, by estimating the percent of searches for pornography that are looking for depictions of gay men.

I used anonymous, aggregate data from Google.

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The advantage of this data source, of course, is that most men are making these searches in private. Women search, too, but in much smaller numbers. While tolerant states have a slightly higher percentage of these searches, roughly 5 percent of pornographic searches are looking for depictions of gay men in all states. This again suggests that there are just about as many gay men in less tolerant states as there are anywhere else.

Since less tolerant states have similar percentages of gay men but far fewer openly gay men, there is a clear relationship between tolerance and openness. My preliminary research indicates that for every 20 percentage points of support for gay marriage about one-and-a-half times as many men from that state will identify openly as gay on Facebook.

In a perfectly tolerant world, my model estimates that about 5 percent of men in the United States would say they were interested in men.

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Note that this matches nicely with the evidence from pornographic search data. These results suggest that the closet remains a major factor in American life. For comparison, about 3. In states where the stigma against homosexuality remains strong, many more gay men are in the closet than are out. How deep in the closet are these men? Obviously, it is possible for a gay man not to acknowledge his sexuality to Facebook or surveys but to still have healthy, open same-sex relationships.



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But data from Match. Baby, One More Time'. Hence why men lie about their ages. Although the more I drank, the less it mattered. But as we sat down to dinner and he leaned over to kiss me, I felt uncomfortable. Clearly the entire restaurant thought I had daddy issues, was being paid by the hour, or was accompanied by my sugar daddy.

Although if I wanted a sugar daddy, I could have a sugar daddy, because I am what? In our search for something stable, were we just supposed to exclusively date men a generation older than us or to hold out for the exception to the rule?