Best gay dating apps phoenix
In hopes of answering your burning questions, here are 13 dating apps ranked lovingly and subjectively on how likely you are to end up takin' old one-eye to the optometrist. Hey, gotta quench that thirst somehow—what's that famous Mother Teresa quote? Oh yes: Hey, you've heard of Twine —right?
Oh, no? It's a good idea in theory A dating app that allows people to meet based on their intellectual capacities rather than their looks! But, you know what happens when two smart people meet? They engage in hot, sweaty, intellectual conversations about Proust.
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Between the sweaty, writhing bodies of two Proust fans. Some people stick to their guns when they say they don't care about looks—and bless their hearts. Unfortunately, we're literally engineered to gravitate towards attractive individuals who smell like redwood trees and caramel. You can talk to a person, but can't see what they look like. The likelihood of getting out of your house and into a restaurant is high, but—face it—this isn't You've Got Mail.
You're not going to find your Tom Hanks with this app. The sole review on the app's page summarizes it nicely: Don't waste your money like I did.
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The transition from desktop to mobile for websites is a bit like the great change from silent films to talkies during the late s. Some film stars made it and some didn't—take Buster Keaton, for example, he tried singing. Didn't work. Yada yada yada, now he's dead. People want sex and they want it now—from the moment the app is downloaded to the moment of the actual date, the number of steps is, frankly, too high.
You have to sign up, write a profile, sift through other profiles—the average millennial's attention span is about the size of the period at the end of this sentence. Mixxxer takes the carefree sentiment of casual swiping and infuses it with the high-octane close-up shots of vulvas that you see on sites like LiveJasmin. Unless you like prostitutes—I mean, that's guaranteed sex right there.
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Are you into prostitutes? OkCupid became less of a hookup app and more of a—ew—relationship app. Up top, braaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.
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Like Beanie Babies were supposed to do in the 21st century, Hot or Not made a legit comeback with its app. What's especially satisfying is the taboo-free interface that, frankly, allows you to get as taboo as you want. What's more sexy than finding sex on a sex-free app?
Except maybe the actual act of sex itself. Let it be known that Luxy only ranks high in this list because hundred-dollar bills are a straight-up aphrodisiac in America.
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