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Similarly, none of the gay men or lesbians in the marriages she studied had explored their sexuality on the Web, which was then in its infancy, or used it as a way to meet others for homosexual encounters. Buxton said. View all New York Times newsletters. Now documentary evidence is readily available, particularly in marriages where the wife is straight and the husband gay.
The gender divide is apparent to counselors who have treated such couples; to support group leaders; and in the postings on the straight spouse network. According to these accounts, typically it is gay men who spend hours on the computer and are interested in online pornography. It is rarely lesbians. Married women who acknowledge that they are lesbians generally tell their husbands, often with painful abruptness but without subterfuge, then quickly exit the marriage, according to Dr.
Buxton's research, which has put her in touch with 1, men and women. Married men who acknowledge that they are gay, Dr. Buxton's research shows, often hunker down in the marriage, lying to keep it together and only admitting what's going on if confronted. The digital clues run the gamut. Take Carolyn of Chevy Chase, Md. Her full name is not used because her husband is in Bolivia and could not be reached.
Carolyn, 56, said she was outside smoking a cigarette when, through a window, she saw her husband viewing gay pornography online.
Gay men in straight relationships: The website helping those who 'fall out of the closet'
He told her it was a pop-up ad. But her ''ah ha'' moment came when she found a print-out of an e-mail arranging a meeting with a man, obvious even to the technologically challenged. Mary, a harpist in New Jersey, noticed her husband rising earlier than usual to use the computer while the rest of the household slept.
One insomniac dawn she wandered into the kitchen at 5 and heard the sounds of arriving instant messages from the adjacent family room. Her husband told her he was in a sports chat room and had made a comment that struck a nerve. But when the same thing happened again, she registered his guilty demeanor. She realized how often he all but body-blocked her when she approached his computer. One morning, she discovered on his screen an e-mail from another married gay man, arranging a first meeting.
Before she heard his tread on the stair, she had read two more messages, from different men setting up dates. The next time her husband claimed to be in the sports chat room, Mary countered with ''here's what I know and here's how I know it. Thus her request, in deference to his privacy, that her last name not be used. Mary chose the occasion of Mr. McGreevey's confession to tell her teenage children that their father is gay. It turned out that they already knew, she says. Sometimes, it is teenage children who make the discovery.
Carol Silverman, of Scarsdale, N. Silverman uses her maiden name and said she does not know her husband's whereabouts. Father and daughter shared a computer in their home. The girl had already seen many of his postings, among them the ad ''Married gay man looking for Asian partner'' -- that included telltale physical details.
Straight men dating men and the gay men who fall in love them | British GQ
Some women unfamiliar with computers seek instruction so they can snoop. Maybe we're just thinking about it too much though. Maybe it's all pretty straightforward.
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Like BRO's mission statement puts it, a place, "for men that are interested in meeting other men… as simple as that". Like I'm doing it all in secret.
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That's not because I'm a homophobe who doesn't want to be tarnished with homosexuality. It's because I'm in a happy relationship and I wouldn't want the missus or her mates catching me on there I think that's all it is, anyway. I was 'marriage-shamed' for getting engaged at Gay conversion therapy: All Together Now: The choir singer dedicating his song to fellow members of the trans community. I'm a drag queen who wants to bring Gay Pride to Grimsby. This is what knife crime does: Game of Thrones: Five of the wildest theories about the final series. The designer using fashion to raise mental health awareness.
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