Gay online dating advice
We like to bone. Spot on. You can tell a lot by the way a person looks at you, the way he holds himself, the way he asks you questions and listens to your response, and the way he answers your questions. A first online date is not in any way a first date. You have to get to know the person and THEN decide if you want to go on a date.
Consider that first meeting after transitioning from talking online to be Austenian courting—this is the wooing, the dance scene where you meet the other leading male and decide if you want to start something with him. Maybe you talk about your roommate fights too much.
Maybe he is just plain-ass boring.
I learned a lot about myself when I was doing the online dating thing. If nothing else, online dating helps you realize how to be a better human being. Dick pics are just the beginning. Faceless, shirtless torso. We get it—you have a hot bod. Picture of you with your fag hag. Or your lady bro.
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Picture of you with a beer in your hand. So do most gay men. Stage 1: Stage 2: Stage 3: OK, fine: Online, I've found that the more abstract the screen name, the more guys will message me and ask questions, which ultimately leads to a conversation- the best way to assess a match. Keep in mind, screen names can also be a deterrent. So think about the image you want to present. A name like "lookn4luv" is more likely to attract the romantic types than "easystevie". Even the goriest of movies never show the most graphic scene on the DVD cover.
They leave something to mystery, plus they don't want to scare potential viewers away. A man who values an intellectual thriller is not likely to rent a movie with exposed intestine on the cover. Keep the intrigue by saving the details until you and your dream man are intimate for the first time. Show a little chest or even a leg, but if you wouldn't show it in public don't show it online. By keeping your pics on the PG or R-rated scale you're showing your suitor that you're about more than just about sex.
Graphic shots may get more quantity, but it's the quality of man you're looking for. Profile headlines can be a vehicle to attract the man you want, but they can also serve as the first line of defense against the man you don't.
Less is more
Think of your headline as an expanded version of your marketing screen name. Use this space usually characters long to describe your interests or the interests you desire in a man. Elaborate on where your screen name originates or try giving a catchy intro to who you are as a person. Come find out! The first example is likely to attract a guy that's into travel like you are while the second shows your prospect that you are open to dating. Use your ad section as just that- an ad! You have a short amount of space to show your personality and call your dream guy to action.
Now that your catchy screen name and headline attracted a guy, clinch the deal with your ad text.
Use the list you made earlier to help you write about your interests, including what you like and dislike in a man. You can mention your education, hobbies, or quirky personality traits. If you're a witty guy, give them a little taste. If you're the more reserved type, say so. I'm more attracted to a guy who's told me a little about himself more than one that is vague or leaves too much to wonder.
How intriguing is it for a writer to find out that someone loves fiction or for a sci-fi movie lover to discover that someone has the entire Star Wars collection? These details may seem out of place for sites known for quick hookups, but relationship-oriented guys browse these sites too and your purpose is to find a date or long-term relationship which is about compatibility on levels beyond the physical.
Most online profiles ask for your age, body type, ethnicity, eye color, hair color, and height among other things. Be as specific as possible within your comfort zone, but never lie.
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Have you ever ordered something from a catalog and looked nothing like the picture in the brochure? Even the romantic who digs your winning personality over your physical features will see fibbing as an issue of trust. You may not be able to grace the cover of Men's Health , but if there is anything I've learned in the gay game is that someone actually many people will find you hot!
Privacy is important, but many HIV positive guys don't list their status because of the stigma that goes along with it. I had a crush on an HIV positive guy for years and the reason it didn't work out had nothing to do with his status. Of course, there must be communication about safer sex and health, but all couples should be cautious regardless of status.
If you're comfortable listing your status, then do so knowing that it won't deter everyone. However, if you prefer not to list your results at least be sure not to lie. You want a relationship built on trust.
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You and your date will have time to talk about it when appropriate, but giving him a false impression can be a quick turn off. Many profiles will ask about your sexual preferences. Sure you may like group sex, but is that a detail you want to disclose up front? If you are looking for the more relationship oriented type of guy, you may want to emphasize that you desire friendship, a relationship or even 1-on-1 sex. Stating that you are looking for group sex or 3 ways in a profile sends a signal that you are promiscuous.
You should never lie about the things you desire and keeping it bottled up inside is not good either, but think about your audience and try to assess what information is too much too soon.
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Just because your dream man doesn't like to do something now, doesn't mean he's not open to the possibilities. However, keep in mind he may be turned off by your desire before getting to know you. Another popular profile question is which sexual role best fits you. Are you a top, bottom or versatile? Do you just like oral sex or are you not into sex at all? Answer in whatever way you feel comfortable.